mardi 15 juin 2010

Alpenstock


Théâtre Le Lucernaire
53, rue Notre-Dame des Champs
75006 Paris
Tel : 01 45 44 57 34
Métro : Vavin /Notre-Dame des Champs

Une comédie de Rémi De Vos
Mise en scène par David Lejard-Ruffet
Avec Charlotte Petitat (Grete), Antoine Rosenfeld (Fritz), Pierer-Etienne Royer (Yosip)

Ma note : 7,5/10

L’histoire
: Grete est seule ; elle nettoie. Fritz, son fonctionnaire de mari, entre. Tous deux forment un couple solide et heureux vivant dans un chalet immaculé. Alors qu’elle était à court, Grete est allée chercher du détergent au marché cosmopolite. Chose que Fritz ne comprend absolument pas. Il en est tout perturbé…

Mon avis : Moi qui adore venir vierge de toute information et me laisser surprendre, j’ai été vraiment gâté par Alpenstock. Je me suis bien laissé embarquer.
Sur fond de valse de Strauss, Grete, blondinette (évidemment) à macarons et tenue tyrolienne fait le ménage de façon mécanique dans son chalet. Tout en frottant compulsivement sa table en formica, elle égrène une litanie bizarre dans laquelle il est vaguement question de Curd Jürgens et de Romy Schneider. On commence à se sentir à la limite du malaise quand surgit Fritz, le mari. Le « Lapin » et la « Poulette » entament un dialogue un dialogue d’une extrême platitude, qui plus est émis sur un ton affreusement récitatif. Mais remarquablement écrit. Sous la banalité s’énoncent déjà quelques vérités qui dessinent peu à peu les caractères. Surtout celui de Fritz dont la mèche n’est pas sans rappeler un autre célèbre Autrichien. Le Lapin n’a qu’une hâte, revêtir à son tour son joli costume folklorique. Tout en se changeant, il s’enquiert de l’état de propreté du domicile conjugal. Et puisqu’on se retrouve en slip autant en profiter : il s’ensuit un coït machinal et cocasse au cours duquel il apprend que la Poulette est allée acheter le détergent au… Marché cosmopolite. « Cosmopolite » ! Rien que le mot met notre Tyrolien en transes. Alors que cette pauvre ingénue de Grete, femme soumise et satisfaite de son sort, n’entrave que pouic aux reproches de son époux. Un époux dont l’intégrisme et les idées franchement xénophobes sentent à plein nez la propagande du monsieur à la mèche cité plus haut.
Dès lors plus rien ne va aller comme avant dans ce couple jusque là tranquille, gentiment installé dans sa routine inodore et sans saveur (puisque aseptisée à grand renfort de détergent)… Pendant que Fritz, le mari marri et contrarié, s’absente pour aller rejoindre son groupe folklorique, Grete reçoit la visite inopinée (ce n’est peut-être pas le mot le plus idoine compte-tenu de ce qui va suivre) d’un certain Yosip, un personnage brun de poil et génétiquement exotique. Yosip traînait au Marché cosmopolite et il a eu le coup de foudre pour cette accorte Teutonne en train d’y faire ses emplettes. Et, ni une ni deux, tout en devisant et en s’excusant, et sans même lui faire la (basse) cour, il embroche la Poulette. Un petit coup dans l’aile qui la déconcerte certes, mais ne la laisse pas indifférente. Evidemment, c’est le moment que choisit Fritz à la culotte de peau pour rentrer at home. Immédiatement, il comprend son infortune. Et devant la table en formica où il forniqua, il trucide le coq balkanique.

Il faut arrêter de raconter car je vais vous enlever tout le sel et le suc de cette histoire. Alpenstock est un OVNI descendu des contreforts tyroliens. On commence dans une sorte de Hansel et Gretel à la mode baroque, avec chalet, costumes folkloriques et harmonie conjugale légèrement compassée. Insidieusement, on évolue vers un climat délétère distillé par Fritz, sorte d’Autrichien de garde gravement endoctriné. Puis on dérape dans une histoire d’adultère aggravée par le racisme, avant de déboucher sur un spectacle de grand guignol que l’on pourrait baptiser « Les mille et une façons de supprimer un rival ». Et on termine avec une conclusion que n’aurait pas reniée un autre éminent Autrichien, ce cher Sigmund Freud. De là à décréter qu’il faut zigouiller tout le monde autour de vous pour trouver l’harmonie dans votre couple, il n’y a qu’un pas (de l’oie) à franchir dont je laisse l’entière responsabilité à l’auteur, Rémi De Vos.
Un auteur dont il faut précisément souligner la qualité textuelle. Le ton volontairement sentencieux et verbeux employé par les comédiens, ne saurait en gommer la finesse de l’écriture. Sous l’apparente simplicité des mots et le détachement affecté de la diction, il s’en glisse des vérités qui s’introduisent sournoisement dans notre cortex. Attention : second degré ! Rémi De Vos a coupé le lénifiant vin chaud avec du schnaps. Si bien que, parfois, ça nous racle la gorge et l’esprit.
Et puis il y a les comédiens. Tous trois excellents. Et vachement gonflés car il y a quelques scènes particulièrement gratinées à jouer tout en sachant y mettre une distance salutaire. Grete (de coq ?), la Poulette, joue les nunuches à la perfection. Humble, simple et modeste, elle ne se complique pas la vie. Il faut dire qu’elle a toujours un temps de latence avant de réaliser les choses. C’est ainsi qu’elle parvient à déceler chez son mari de fâcheux relents d’extrémisme. Elle joue un peu comme une comédienne de cinéma muet, en outrant ses mimiques et ses réactions. Ce qui ajoute encore de la drôlerie à son personnage. Elle nous est immédiatement sympathique et elle le restera tout au long de la pièce. Une jolie performance en tout cas, aussi audacieuse que maîtrisée.
Frits-le-Lapin possède une rigidité toute teutonne. Ce n’est pas un sentimental. Il est pédant, sentencieux, autoritaire et sectaire. Bref, il est le portrait craché du nazillon. L’exploit d’Antoine Rosenfeld est de ne pas nous le rendre complètement antipathique. Ce qui n’est pas évident. Il n’hésite pas à exacerber la caricature, allant même jusqu’au cartoon quand il se met à jouer à l’Autrichien-chien à sa mémère. Lui aussi domine magistralement son registre.
Quant à Yosip (aux Yosip, même, devrait-on dire) par son jeu robotisé en mouvement perpétuel, il apporte, si besoin en était, un supplément de folie à notre conte.
La mise en scène est inventive, très visuelle et truffée de trouvailles. Même les scènes qui, a priori, pourraient aisément déraper dans le grivois ou le vulgaire, sont tellement bien interprétées qu’elles n’en paraissent que truculentes.
Alpenstock, le chalet de la mort et de l’amour, est un pur régal de drôlerie décalée et déjantée. Il est toujours très agréable de prendre de son plein gré des edelweiss pour des lanternes. Si, si…

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